At what point, does someway say, “Okay… it’s finally time to start looking out for my spiritual well-being” even if they know it could mean a severing of the “old ways”?
Our spiritual well-being should always be first. What good can come from sacrificing your own spirituality? Your spiritual well-being directly affects your relationship. Just be as honest as you can about how you define your spiritual well-being. Sometimes we desire something that is different than what we have, when the greatest opportunity and what we actually need, is right under our nose.
Repeating here: Your spiritual well-being (growth) is the first need of your heart and the purpose of life. It is always time to take care of this, always.
The purpose of all life is the refinement of awareness. At the human level it gets interesting because we have the ability to make radical choices and change directions unlike other species. Growth is why we are here. We can accelerate or prolong it, but we cannot escape it. There is a great lesson plan waiting for all of us in our karma.
The main teaching overall seems to be about perfecting our love. What it is, where it comes from, and how to share it with all, is a direction we all are moving in. Our experience of love is directly related to our level of awareness. Our movement is fueled by our search for joy. We can deny it for some time, but the call in our heart will never release us until we are free.
I believe that the more we perfect our love, the deeper will our experience of joy be. We are made of love. We are rays of love shining from the heart of God into every niche of life. If we would allow God’s love to shine freely through the channels of our hearts we would know everything there is to know.
Look for opportunities to expand your willingness to accept others as they are, and to love them deeply without attachment. See those relationships you have now and pray that God help you release your attachments to the ones you love, so that your love and service for them can be even more pure than it is already.
In the act of loving we find fulfillment. Why ever stop then? Even when things do need to change or we are forced to make decisions that are difficult for others or ourselves, there is no reason to stop loving anyone.
I hope this helps answer the question posed above. Do what you feel is right. Do not be a reaction, but instead make your choices with calm intuition. Try to do what is truly best (not what is easy, or accepted as normal) for all concerned. Nothing in life is separate from your spiritual path, nothing.
Finally, if you have a partner who is antagonistic toward your spirituality or your psychological well-being, that is trying to stop you and mocks your chosen path; why on earth would you stay with them? What good could come out of this kind of relationship?
These are my honest opinions based on the questions that were posted. I always look forward to your comments and questions. Your input will help to define the direction of these posts.
April 22, 2009 at 5:17 pm
Truer words never spoken, my dear friend!
Since my last comment, I have placed my spiritual well-being at the top of my lists of things to do every day.
I have come to a mutual agreement with my husband in that we both recognize that are paths are not aligned and staying together, for together sake, is unhealthy for all involved.
Have no fear. These posts were not the catalyst for me to see the light for I was already aware of the ending of this relationship.
However, I know with “death” comes life, and I am more hopeful today than I have been in quite some time. I am living for today and doing what I must to ensure that this life is a fulfilling one.
Your posts are always full of love and light!
Adonya
April 22, 2009 at 5:27 pm
Dear Adonya,
You know what is best. If there is any way I can help to support you spiritually, just let me know.
many blessings,
turiya
April 23, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Thank you, Turiya. You have already been most supportive. The next time I’m in Cali, I’ll have to stop by and give you the biggest {{{hug}}}.
April 23, 2009 at 6:43 pm
Would love to meet, have a cup of tea, and talk face to face some day.
Peace and Joy!
May 5, 2009 at 6:07 pm
rows & rows of books on bookstore shelves regarding relationships & u summed it up n 4 short blogs. Bravo! I really really needed this exactly where I am today. I’ve learned so much from Dr Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle, The Tao & others who already happen to be in relationships or live as monks. Its refreshing to read your blogs because I think u can really speak to the heart of romantic attachment so when I do get there I have some practical steps to follow.
If I can finally learn how to draw out here in reality the love I see in my meditation then maybe the set of eyes I talk to inside will walk forever beside me out here…
August 26, 2009 at 10:14 pm
I had a similar thought as Araboth in the comment above…so much wisdom in 4 blog posts. I do hope you have put your words in book form (or intend to).
I think what’s most significant about this subject is that we are charged to nurture our spiritual well-being no matter what. I am reminded of Don Miguel Ruiz’s book – THE FOUR AGREEMENTS – and the call not to take anything personally. It is precisely because we take others’ words and actions personally that we have a sense of going “off track” from our own spiritual journey. In truth, as you have so eloquently written, we do not ever leave our path. Our connection with the divine within draws us back to our truth when we forget (even if briefly) who we are.
Each relationship indeed holds a gift – a gift which will enhance our journey if we will allow it. I’m sure most of us are grateful for at least one time in life when we were not “given” what we thought we wanted…as what we had was truly what was needed, after all. We have been sent nothing but angels, yes?
I think also that many of us put so much effort into being spiritual, we think we need partners who are reading the same books and studying the same spiritual principles that we are. But surely there are more paths to enlightenment than ours. Peace, love, stillness can be found just as easily on a basketball court, for instance, as it can be found in a labyrinth. Who’s to say where the spirit of love will strike you? It’s all a matter of perspective anyway.
Thanks so much for being a light of hope and healing.
Melinda (@ButterflyMaven on Twitter)
August 27, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Dear Melinda,
Thank you for your thoughtful comment. What we attract is exactly what we need. I am very thankful for many things that have not gone the way I had hoped. If I was really in charge of my life? I can’t imagine I would be half as happy as I am right now.
Yes, I guess they are all angels. I usually think of others as God hiding in a costume. The costume is the personality that create and wear that can sometimes hide the divine angel underneath it all.
Spirituality should be simple, because God is simple. What makes it all complicated is exactly what we will eventually have to be free of, to experience our own highest potential.
The more spiritual we are, the more we’ll be able to accept, enjoy and love our partners, even if they are not on the same path. It’s usually folly when one drags another into something they are not interested in themselves, and most often the one who feels spiritual and is dragging their partner with them is the one who might be much better off, just getting centered and listening more carefully to appreciate how good life is right now.
many blessings to you and those you serve!
turiya