Relax Meditate Smile

Art has always been an interesting experience for me. I like to think I have an eye for beauty and I am quite clear about what I enjoy and what I enjoy less when it comes to art. In fact most of it doesn’t interest me at all.

I have a very difficult time in my art class. It may be one of the most challenging experiences in my life right now. It’s worse than preparing for taxes! Painting is something I have always been a bit scared of, and I can get quite frustrated and feel mean toward my teacher, (who is also my best friend). You see, I’m pretty good at other stuff with my hands but I also like to make things “perfect” whatever that means. And still, the art that inspires me is never perfect in the way I feel forced to paint. It’s free and comes from the heart, it’s joyful and light instead of heavy or dark. It’s painted as a child would paint. That is what I want to do. I want to be free to flow and not get stuck thinking. It’s the way I try to live, but this painting thing is like the last holdout in my mental garden. It’s got deep strong roots going somewhere.

You know what? A stranger could walk up to me and spit in my face and I could still love him, and not judge him. I’m really very ok with people, death, loss, and financial instability. But when Ashleigh asks me to plop paint on my paper without hesitating I could just cap her! I’m really not mad at her, but she’s the one that’s delivering the lesson so, I do sort of get bugged at her. It’s almost chemical.

This is why I have decided to take my art class. I want to get better! Here is a look at my battle. These three are from me with lots of support from my wonderful teacher. Sharing these, I hope is a step in the right direction for me.

My goal is to overcome the obstacles that keep me from serving God and His creatures perfectly. I want Him to be able to express His love through me and I suspect this issue with painting is part of something bigger I need to overcome. I’m not wasting any time. I am taking this on. I’m going to have fun painting if it kills me. That’s sort of a joke.

I always like to hear your thoughts. I hope you like the new style for my blog, and that you are having a super awesome day.

in joy,

turiya